mirrortide | IC Contact

[The message arrives early in the afternoon, after the rush of morning activities has subsided and everyone is carrying on with their various tasks for the day.]

Lapis Lazuli? This is Lorenz.

[It was his first time using the Audio function during their several months in Aefenglom. He wasn't entirely certain of what he was doing, but pressed forward with the courage and self-assuredness of a soldier who knew what their fate was regardless of the outcome.]

Please respond when you are able. It has been some time since we met, and I have been wondering about how you have been doing.

[Maybe Everyone he knows is carrying on with their various tasks, but having already taken care of a group of plants, Lapis really doesn't feel like moving much of anywhere. Or doing much of anything else.

Even Pumpkin is particularly subdued, even though she at least tries to encourage Lapis to move.

Hearing Lorenz's voice call to her, however, gives a flash of anger that's quickly subdued by her own grief.]

I'm fine.

[Is her slightly muffled response. She clearly doesn't sound particularly enthused, or fine.]

[Ah, yes. Given their last meeting, this outcome was hardly a surprise. Lapis carried a darkness buried deep within her heart that she didn't seem to know how to tame-- it was volitile, moreso than a caged turnskin under the light of the full moon.

Lorenz sighed in resignation, idly twirling a blue spiderwort he had been working with that morning amid his fingers. The delicate petals seemed far too fragile to touch, but it's whip-like leaves were strong.]

Your voice say's otherwise, dear.

...I heard about what happened to your partner. You have my sincerest condolences. Is there anything you need?

[She feels like she's being cracked all over again when he says that. When he brings it up that Peridot is gone, and she's effectively alone once more.

It's his fault.

If she had had a bond, maybe she would have been able to get to Peridot sooner. Maybe it would have stopped her from disappearing. She doesn't actually believe that, but it feels like it makes her anger justified and right and that's what she wants in the moment.]

I don't need anything you can give me.

[The rage was still there, unmistakeable even over the distortion of their connection through the magically endowed watches. It was an insurmountable tidal wave that pulled the water from the harbor and threatened the very city itself-- briefly, Lorenz wondered if she were drowning in it.]

Perhaps a listening ear? [He asked gently, as if speaking to a spooked horse that was rearing upwards, beyond where anyone's hands could reach.]

Perhaps... a friend?

I have Pumpkin for both of those. Thanks.

[There's a brief whine in the background as Pumpkin hears her name called, but doesn't really appreciate the tone of which Lapis says it with.

It's pretty bold of him, as far as she's concerned to talk to her like this. It's his fault all this happened in the first place.]

[Ah, yes. Now here comes the petty knives of verbal combat as he's compared to a plant.

Perhaps he deserved this. At least, in her mind he did.]

How about dinner then? Tea? Music?

[Simple things. Human things. While he knew little yet of Gem culture, they sounded like they were far from a tight-knit people who regularly shared tea together.]

I'm a Gem. I don't have to eat or drink. And I don't really much care about music.

[Comes the flat reply, even though she's had tea with him before. Has enjoyed some of these things with him before, even.

It's pretty clear she's more referring to him more than her dislike of any of those things in particular.]

[The message is received loudly and clearly. Lorenz huffs another sigh; this wasn't going to be something he could win.]

If you're needing an apology, then you have it-- I am indeed truly sorry for what happend. But, even if we had joined back then, nothing would have changed.

We would both have been hurt.

[That snaps Lapis' attention towards the watch, and she lifts herself up marginally with a shuffle.]

You don't know that! We would have been fine, and maybe Peridot would still be here, but she's not now! [And once again, she's alone. Trapped somewhere with no one, and doesn't this always happen? Isn't this always the way? Things are fine for a short time, but this always seems to happen.]

You were just afraid. [She calls out, even as she knows what she's saying. It's always the same. People are afraid of her. Of what she can do. It's different here, but it still boils down to the same thing, doesn't it?]

You were afraid of me.

[And maybe that's what hurts the most. To be denied in a time of need like she had been.]

[There was no official way to leave this world, or send someone from this world, with intent. The Coven had stated that during the trial proceedings, but he knew Lapis was in no state to listen to that for the moment.]

You're wrong.

[Lorenz said lowly, evenly.]

I was afraid for you. I was afraid of being so overwhelmed by you that I would have been useless to you.

[Lapis' anger was more intense, more viceral, than even watching Marianne all but explode with magical power when she was cornered-- and the gentle young woman, who could be knocked down in a stiff breeze, would rise with the rage of a vengeful Goddess to smite any threat to her person.

He prided himself on his ability to Reason. He didn't know where he would be without it.]

[The first part of what he says contradicts the second, in her mind, and she moves to sit up on her bed, forcing herself to pet Pumpkin to keep herself from completely losing herself.]

I don't believe you for a second.

Regardless of whether of not you believe me, that is the truth.

[He didn't expect this to be easy, nor did he expect this to be quick. While Gems had thousands of years to nurse grudges, humans only had a scant few decades. Lorenz didn't care to waste time on having disagreements with people he got on well with.]

[It's true. Gems have thousands upon thousands of years to nurse and end grudges. And Lapis is a Gem that's always been particularly slow to warm up to people barring specific circumstances.

And yet, Lorenz has made enough of an impression on her that even through her hurt and anger, she only has her thumb ready to end their communications, though hasn't done it yet.

She wasn't lying when she said she'd trusted him, but she does feel like a fool for actually saying it out loud after having been denied like that.

So, he gets silence on her end. She still doesn't believe him, and like all things with Gems, it'll be a slow come around, but she's not gone yet.]

[The silence was deafening, yet unsurprising. Lapis had the experience of millennia to build up an entire collection of tools expressly designed pettiness that Lorenz was certain his father would envy. Clearly, he was facing off against a master.]

...You need not see me now, nor ever again if that is what you wish. I would fully understand if that is what you desire. But, please be aware that I will always make choices that are in the best interest of the both of us, regardless of whether or not you understand.

Please know this, and know that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.

[Again, her thumb hovers over the button to end the communications, and again she doesn't. Instead, her other hand rubs the top of Pumpkin, and she whines softly at Lapis for it.

Lapis, who still wants to be mad and angry and vent those frustrations in a way that she knows isn't good, but is still cathartic. She clicks her tongue, still clearly annoyed, but still not fully committing to either hanging up or responding. Or rather, it seems that way, until she finally finally decides to reply.]

Why?

[It's short and simply.]

[Of course she couldn't see it. She was too blind.]

Because you are a person of value, [Lorenz explained, like an older sibling coaching a younger.] You are as deserving of respect and support as everyone else is.

This is why I gave you a choice-- and why I didn't want to see you pushing yourself without careful consideration.

I did carefully consider it. [She snaps back, though it loses it's bite with her next words.] I decided that Peridot was more important. That's all there was too it.

[She won't bother mentioning anything else. Steven had told her almost the same thing once, and she still can't quite believe it.]

Hm...

[There was utilitarian ethics, but then there was also using those ethics as a disguise for an utter lack of self worth.

It was a difficult conundrum, and Lorenz couldn't immediately see a way to help her with it. Such problems had to be resolved alone; the words of another meant little in the grander scheme.

He knew this, from watching Marianne. But, knowing that there was little he could do to assist left a twinge of grief in his heart.]

That you did, and it was my mistake for not respecting your words. But, your disregard for yourself has me concerned, and I worry about you throwing yourself into a dangerous situation... or with a partner who has no respect for you or your worth.

Don't be. [It comes out maybe a bit too harshly.] I already know what its like to be in a situation like that, and I would have let it happen again if I had gotten Peridot back.

[Obviously.]

[That was troubling information, and Lorenz found himself doubting his initial assessment of Lapis as a person. Anyone that willing to use and be used was a dangerous variable-- but, at the same time, Lorenz felt driven to help her see that she was worth more than what she believed.]

In that case, I am truly sorry you have had to be in that situation. Bonds forged under the threat of a knife are never good. Or safe.

That's the position I was concerned about putting you in.

It wasn't a bond, it was fusion.

[Which, after having experienced both... Well, it wasn't so different, minus creating a whole new entity.]

Besides, you wouldn't do that.

Lapis. You know that I do not know what that is.

[Like a great many details about Gem Culture, it seemed. But, he was trying.]

But anyone can use another as a tool, whether they are the same species or not. A true, mutually beneficial partnership would have both parties standing at equal footing, with no power imbalances or threats hanging over anyone's neck.

[That was the crux of what he had always sought; a partner who could stand as his equal.]

I know. I already know all this. [And does it matter? Can she bring herself to care?]

There'll never be equal footing between us because we're not equals. We're not even the same species. And I don't just mean because I'm a gem and you're a human. That's just how it is here.

[It sounds a bit harsh when she says it, but... it's true. At least with Peridot they'd had some sort of mutual understanding between them. They'd both been Gems.

Between her and Lorenz, there's no such thing as equal footing. They're too fundamentally different, and it's not a bad thing, but even she knows that they can't ever reach equality by their very nature.]

[Was it really about species alone? Was that truly the fundamental difference between them and their morals-- or were there other factors in play?]

You're wrong, [Lorenz said pedantically, in the tone of a scholar sharing precious information.]

In this realm, we are a Witch and a Monster. And both Mirrorbound. Cooperation can be found between anyone, no matter how different they are.

IC Contact

Early Febrruary; Audio

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to be fair to lorenz, pumpkin is pretty exceptional,,,

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